By Sharon Ray
Sunburst offers surrender as one of the words that describes humility—surrender to the Divine. Who among us has not had those moments of excruciating pain and frustration over an unwanted situation that seems like it simply will not change? Those are the moments in which we can pick up and develop surrender to the Divine, dropping the story, the struggle, the fight, our resistance. Finally, we can just relaxing into what is. With this surrender comes the grace of peace, finally peace. There is nothing more to do. The war is won because the battle has ceased. Often, such letting go is followed by moments of tremendous grace, as if our resistance was a lock on the floodgate to Union with God.
We are taught to fight, to struggle, and to win. There is a place for that in human development, but at some point in our spiritual walk we begin to develop surrender, saying to the Divine, “Thy will, and not mine, be done.”
In the book, Cosmic Consciousness, is a detailed account, in her own words, of a woman’s experience of Illumination as it took place in the late 1800’s. It came upon her after a time of inner discontent, pain, and ultimately, surrender. She writes of this period in her life just before Illumination, “Something in life had been missed which it seemed ought to be there; depths in my own nature which had never been sounded; heights I could see, which had not been reached. The chasm between what I was and what I needed to be was deep and wide, but as this same incompleteness was obvious in the lives of others, it was accepted as my share in the common lot.” At this point, C.M.C. fell into a long physical illness which brought about her ultimate surrender.
She reported, “I had come to see that my need was greater even than I had thought. The pain and tension deep in the core and center of my being was so great that I felt as might some creature which had outgrown its shell, and yet could not escape…. The great tide swept on uncaring, pitiless, and strength gone, every resource exhausted, nothing remained but submission. So I said: There must be a reason for it, a purpose in it, even if I cannot grasp it. The Power in whose hands I am may do with me as it will! Meantime, with every internal sense, I searched for that principle, whatever it was, which would hold me when I let go. At last, subdued, with a curious, growing strength in my weakness, I let go of myself!”
This letting go, this surrender of herself, opened the floodgates of grace and she wrote about the immediate improvement of her condition, and of a surprising happiness that she began to enjoy. She describes what happened in the evening of that same great day. She said, “Perfect rest and peace and joy were everywhere, and, more strange than all, there came to me a sense as of some serene, magnetic presence—grand and all pervading…. Presently what seemed to be a swift, oncoming tidal wave of splendor and glory ineffable came down upon me, and I felt myself being enveloped, swallowed up…. Now came a period of rapture so intense that the universe stood still, as if amazed at the unutterable majesty of the spectacle! Only one in all the infinite universe! The All-loving, the Perfect One! The Perfect Wisdom, Truth, love and purity! …Then came the relaxation, the happy tears, the murmured, rapturous expressions. I was safe; I was on the great highway, the upward road….”
So, let us lovers of God fight the good fight. If we one day, however, see that we are fighting a losing battle, let us put all needs—ours and the needs of others—in the hands of the Almighty, resting finally, as did C.M.C., in the Everlasting Arms: “It was as if surrounding and touching me closely on all sides were the softest, downiest pillows. Lean in what directions I might there they were. A pillow or pillows which fitted every tired spot…. It was ‘the everlasting arms’. I was anchored at last!”
Dear God, help me to anchor in the truth that You have created all world; You fill all worlds; and YOU are the Savior in all worlds. I put all needs and outcomes in Your hands. I am the humble and surrendered servant of Your will. Show me the way, and I will walk it with all my might, doing Your will in this world, loving You with all my strength, body and mind, and loving others as my very own Self. Amen.
