• by Cain Carroll • Happiness is a changing feeling that comes and goes with circumstances that appear to coincide with it. Since circumstances are largely out of our control, and constantly in flux, our happiness is always waxing and waning. It swells when we feel good (physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually and declines when we don’t Nobody can feel happy ALL the time because conditions (internal or external) can never be controlled to that degree. Trying will make you crazy.
The problem is that social conditioning, especially in the U.S., has us believe that there is something wrong with us if we don’t don a permanent smile. Actually, it’s totally natural NOT to—the sky is not always sunny, flowers aren’t always blooming, and even cats and dogs get the blues. Without sadness, pain, dissatisfaction, broken heartedness, confusion, etc., we wouldn’t be human (and there certainly would not be some good art or music).
Feelings come and go like changing seasons. It’s our reluctance to fully appreciate all of them that makes us feel divided inside. We were taught to feel bad about not feeling good. We learned this from a neurotic culture that is pathologically addicted to unattainable ideals (flawless beauty, eternal youth, perfect happiness.
We can un-learn it! Like removing corrupter software from our CPU…”Delete program!”
When we are in harmony with our life we feel happy much of the time. But it’s also possible to be at peace when dissatisfaction, pain, loneliness, confusion, sadness, or any challenging feeling comes along for a visit. It requires that we simply let go of our resistance to feeling what we feel. In other words, if we can fully accept whatever comes without judgment, criticism, or the need to understand why, then we find a sense of ease opening up inside of us.
That way, we can be free to feel dissatisfied without being anxious about it. Feeling less anxious, we have less dissatisfaction. The whole thing unwinds itself.
Admittedly, this takes quite a bit of courage, and the willingness to get comfortable feeling uncomfortable. But if we do this repeatedly, moment after moment, day after day, our inner conflict melts like a chunk of ice into a flowing stream. We discover a basic joy and peace that is available to us all the time, even amid the changing tides of our thoughts, feelings, sensations, and circumstances.
