Growing Up!

By Ischa Lea

So often I listen to beautiful songs sung, hear beautiful words read, feel uplifted in my soul, yet watch the cosmic play unfold in mockery to those songs, those words, those pleasant platitudes.

Even as a child I wondered about this, having my talks with God in secret: “Lord, why is the world so bad—even the same people who say nice things and read the good books to us?” Being a child, I would innocently blurt out what I saw, then be reprimanded then for speaking my mind. By my elders, I was branded “disrespectful” for noting that some speakers we heard were proud, parroting other’s insights. Their audiences were appeased, yet all week so few were nice.

My grandfather stood always on my side. He was a man of great integrity and honesty, and many would seek his counsel in the neighborhood. I was naughty, for I would occasionally whisper in his ear, “Nana, that’s not a nice person.”

Grandfather would smile and say to me, “My child, they don’t know any better.” Of course I would protest, “But Nana, they’re big; if they don’t know, then why do they play boss?” In local jargon that meant “Why on earth did they behave as if they knew!”

The shackles of a child’s body were unbearable and confusing, were it not for the fun part, playing games—and not having to worry about cooking or laundry, and all the things adults worry about. “What else is there?” I thought. When would I ever be able to speak my mind without being told to “hush?”

Well, being a grown up became an eye opener. I wasn’t being told to hush anymore; it was worse. I had to know when and how to speak my mind without hurting someone, or when to simply be quiet even though it hurt to do so!

Yes, decades have passed. The same movie of life is still being shown over and over again; however, I’ve learned that I’m not here to change anyone, only to be an instrument of change in the world by being honest in front of my Maker. It’s only to my Divine Parents that I have to prove myself, even though they do not ask for it. It is only before them that I can truly bare my soul and say, “Lord, I know I’m not perfect in this human body, but help me please to think and act in such a way toward all my brothers and sisters, and all of nature, so that my thoughts and actions may be pleasing to thee, Lord. Please, guide me by Thy divine hand.”

Thy Divine Hand

In thought, word and deed O Lord I pray
Make me an instrument for Thy loving hand
In virtue, dignity and commitment to stand,
Ever guided in all things by Thy divine hand

Each day Lord, make me an instrument of love,
Let not my ego above good judgment command
In heart-centered action toward all I ask
Give me strength to be guided by Thy divine hand

Seeking not to be controlled, nor to control any
Let me, in free spirit undertake all tasks at hand
In sincerity, humility, and integrity let me stand
Give me courage to be guided by Thy divine hand

I know not what’s best but know enough though
That when my heart’s open, Thy energy to it can flow
Sculpting my day, my intentions, dreams, and plans
That all will be well when guided by Thy divine hand

All are Thy creatures, Thy children, Thy creation dear
How can I in honesty one above another show care?
Let me not for a single moment, on this sacred land
Stray from Thy light, Thy love, from Thy divine hand