Self-Control is the Key to a Happy Life

Self-Control is the Key to a Happy Life

by Sharon Ray

Walking the Sunburst Path, each month of the zodiac brings the opportunity to celebrate, study, and focus on a virtue. The virtue of Virgo is Continence.

Some of us have had the privilege to take care of our elderly friends and family and so have had the opportunity to visit the incontinence aisle at the drug store. As people get older they sometimes become incontinent, and that means they can’t hold it. The virtue of continence is the ability to hold all of the energies that help us succeed in achieving our aspiration for Divine Union.

Thoughts are energies; emotions and desires are energies. By our conscious effort these energies can become a powerful catalyst towards the Divine. We want to hold them sacred and point them in a positive direction, and homeward.

Ghandi was a lover of the virtue Continence: “I know the Path—it is straight and narrow. It is like the edge of a sword. I rejoice to walk on it. I weep when I slip. God’s word is: ‘He who strives never perishes.’ I have implicit faith in that promise.”

Statue of Mahatma Gandhi

Paramahansa Yogananda is quoted as saying: “Self-Control is the key to a happy life.” Boy, is that ever true!

I look at the times I’ve eaten a big dinner and not had room for dessert, but ate it anyway. We’re not just talking about a piece of pie; let’s not forget the ice cream. I went to bed so uncomfortable that I‘d have nightmares something like being chased by a man carrying a knife, fork, and a spoon!

I was once told that a good yogini never eats to fullness but always saves room for digestion. So, Continence speaks of moderation. We respect our need to eat delicious, healthy food, but we moderate the amount so that we’re also taking care of our body Temple that houses the Divine.

These changes don’t take place overnight. They take place over time—it’s a transformation that begins with a sincere declaration and prayer, saying, “I really want to be a healthy person. I really don’t want to be driven by my desire world. I want to be the master of my senses. Please help me.” Sincere prayer lights the fire that begins the transformation and the outpouring of grace. We are giving God a request he wants to support, and aid us with.

Speaking of the virtue of Continence and the desire realm, Sunburst offers a wonderful affirmation: “I apply wisdom and care in directing the gift of life force. I refrain from the misuse of sexual energy, realizing that this can bring deep suffering. Through my devotion and love for the Divine, I know this powerful force can become the fires of my illumination.”

Moderation of sexual activity allows the reservoir of life force in the second chakra to build and become full. That energy comes up the spine in meditation and is an illuminating force.

How about Continence in the realm of our thinking world? How powerful thinking can be to create and generate good feelings, positive energy, and enthusiasm for life. Continence means not doing what I’ve done so many mornings in the past, lying in bed, dwelling on unpleasant thoughts about the past or the imagined future––thoughts that make me so upset I jump out of bed just to save my sanity.

Mindfulness is another definition for Continence, and it means staying in the present moment. God is always in the here and now. The present is the only place where the Divine can be felt. So, I pay close attention to what I’m doing. Sometimes, to stay present and keep my mind happy, I’ll label what I’m doing: “Washing dishes! Washing dishes!” or “Walking, walking!” and I often feel for the Presence of the Divine.

So, developing Continence in the mental world means developing mindfulness. Developing, Continence in the desire realm means moderation—taking health and spiritual goals into consideration. Our opportunity is to discover that, as Sunburst’s founder, Norman Paulsen said, “Self-discipline is a liberation!” Through our sincere efforts to make our thoughts, emotions, and actions positive and healthy, we receive great benefits and a sense of freedom.

There’s an even more powerful reason why we make an effort to develop the virtue of Continence. There is a benefit even beyond being a healthier, happier person, and this is spoken of by Gerhart Tersteegan in his beautiful prose:

“Within, within, O turn thy spirit’s eyes,
And learn thy wandering senses gently to control;
Thy dearest Friend dwells deep within they soul.”

The most precious benefit of Continence is that by holding these energies, our Path to Self-Realization and Divine Union is quickened.

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